How BIG is BIG?

I have turned into a monster lately. HUGE monstrous monster! It's a shame that I have put on so much weight. Thanks to my mom, the best cook in the world for the unhealthy treat every single day. Her expertise is malay traditional cuisine.You know how malay food has to be taken with rice, rite. When I say rice, it means loads of rice and you know how mom always say "Habiskan la semua tu. Takda siapa lagi nak makan. Sayang je kalau buang nanti" (Finish it all. Nobody else would eat it and it's going to be wasted). So...am I to be blamed or my mom? 100% non other than myself kan. I should be responsible for myself, my look, my weight and my health.

I have always considered myself as a plus size or curvy woman, but now I think it's just me being in denial when I'm actually FAT! The ugly truth is...I'm FAT now and I don't like the way I look! Full stop! Face it woman! You won't look nice in anything unless you are proportionate. Get this right okay....proportionate and not thin or skinny! When I say proportionate, I mean your weight is supported by an appropriate height and body frame.

This could be how I look now...or maybe slightly smaller but that doesn't make any excuse for me to keep on eating like there's no tomorrow, right! Im just irritated with the way my tummy is bulging and it is no longer a secret. Its a great ordeal to keep my best kept secret these days. I miss the fun of shopping online because they don't cater UK14 or UK16 sizes. Most importantly, I do not like to be photographed. Though when its only face and above, its sad to see how my face has turned to be "shapeless". Its plain round, with double chin of course. OMG! Its just not a good sight!

I don't have to wait any longer before turning into this....

That's it! Its a make or break situation for me. I have to get rid of that damn culprit rice! In fact, I have started since Sunday and I hope it is not just me loosing appetite temporarily since I'm down with flu and fever. I have to be strong. I gotta be beautiful for myself and Mr.Hubby who has never complained about the way I look. Most importantly, I want to be healthy for my little one!