A new chapter....

Please pardon my absence from the blog. I've been busy lately. Crazy busy!

It's a new chapter of my life, altogether. I feel blessed with the "gift" from the almighty. Everything happened at almost the same time and I can't resist. I couldn't ask for anything better than this. Alhamdulillah. YOU have answered my prayers! For that, I'm most grateful.

Yes, I have safely moved into my new house and the place is still a mess. Thank God for the unused rooms. I have safely hide all the unpacked boxes in the rooms and tadaaaaa.......we are done! hahahahhaha. Knowing that I'm not moving out anywhere or anytime soon is a relief. I'm taking all the times that I have in the world to fully unpack my stuffs. All I need for now is my room, living  and dining area as well as the kitchen. Ohh...speaking of the kitchen, went to do some groceries shopping yesterday and cooked for the first time today. It has been ages since I last cook for my loved ones. It's such a great feeling being praised by the little one, "shedapp mommy mashak".

I am now Miss Independent, handling everything on my own. No more assistance from anyone else, except for Mr.Hubby. It is tiring but I'm not complaining. I love the way things are right now and I feel complete!

Hard Talk!

Mr.Hubby and I had a hard talk in the car this morning, during our rush hour. Topic of discussion : Malaysia's current economic situation.On how the price of Ron95 might hike soon and how everything else like sugar's price and even the Base Lending Rate (BLR) have increased recently . Of course this is nothing new but rather an economic term referred as inflation.

In economics, inflation is a rise in the general level of prices of goods and services in an economy over a period of time.When the general price level rises, each unit of currency buys fewer goods and services. Consequently, inflation also reflects an erosion in the purchasing power of money – a loss of real value in the internal medium of exchange and unit of account in the economy.

Malaysia inflation rate as at April 2011 was reported to be 3.2%, while our annual income increment across the board is 5%. Now you know why people of Malaysia, especially the middle and low income class is making a big fuss about the price hike? We went to school just like you , Mr.Ministers. We understand very well the word inflation but what we don't understand is what is your role in helping the people to go through this tough situation? The way you manage country's incomes to ease people's burden? Malaysians who have voted you and gave you the mandate to manage the country!

Okay....I might not be an economist but I am a working woman, a mother and a wife . Let me quote you 1 simplest example, that surely will make Malaysian working women and mothers all hyped up. Child Care. Almost all working class parents send their children to the day care centre, out of no choice. They can't afford a maid and neither can they afford to be a stay home mum. The cheapest resort that I know is baby sitter services(hantar rumah orang) that will cost parents a not-so-expensive RM200. Itu yang paling murah, hokay!!! The next choice is non other that the day care centres with charges ranging from RM250 to a whopping RM900.  

I remember my friend in Perth once told me that Australian government subsidize her child care expenses. Though not fully, but it was good enough to ease parent's burden. We don't have that in our country, right? Not even a Child Care Tax Rebate (CCTR) for out-of-pocket child care costs.What the hell is our Ministry for Women, Family and Community Development is doing? Ms.Kajol, please answer!

However, some companies are subsidizing their staff's expenses on child care, like Shell Business Service Center Sdn Bhd that pays out RM150 per child every month. I'm surprised to find out that not even the government sectors are doing this. This is also part of company's social responsibility, right! It doesn't matter if you subsidize the child care expenses or provide a free day-care centre in the office specially for the staffs. I believe that charity should start from home. So, something to ponder ....why are companies publicizing ie:safety driving course, education scholarships, some Rhino saving campaign and government ie: financial aids to Tsunami victims in other countries as their social responsibility activities, when they have not even take full accountability on the staffs or people's welfare! Now you tell me....is it SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY or PUBLICITY ??? 

Read this with an open heart and mind! I'm writing this on behalf of many Malaysians that would like to clarify that we are not complaining about the inflation but rather voicing out how helpless we feel in hard time like this!

Words are not enough...

Sometimes..tears are a sign of unspoken happiness and smile is a sign of silenced pain

Because words are just not enough to describe what I feel inside....

Dear Allah......I pray for strength, courage and sanity 

To make it through the rain

Ameen....

Lately.....

Lately......the best word to describe my mood is disgruntled,belittled,dissapointed,etc.(which explains the long quietness of my blog). Not that I'm not grateful with my life now, but I just couldn't take it when my happiness is killed by dishonest people and stalkers bitching behind my back, especially when these people are close to me. Be it friends or families. What have I done to deserve such treatment? Just because I couldn't adhere to all your reunions,functions,wants or demand, I'm suddenly the baddy and you stab me like this? My 'personal stories' are being shared and passed around? MOTIF??? Mak betul2 tak paham la...


I wish they could leave me alone. But I guess they never will. Orang2 macam ni, even dah tua pun tak sedar2 lagi. Patutnya, deorang ni lagi paham, since dah banyak makan garam. Patutnya tak masuk campur hal budak2. Ni tak...dah terbalik! Dia pulak yang bagi api kat belakang kita. I remember one of my friend's funnily quoted, "Deorang ni main POLITIK SATE. Mula2 deorang cucuk, lepas tu bakar...last skali baru kipas". hahahahahha. Bila pikir2 balik memang betul pun. Depan kita semua mulut manis....but not me la. Once bitten, twice shy. I don't buy all that drama.


Tapi bila I analyze napa deorang ni suka sangat jadikan I bahan, barula I paham. Sebab I ni sorang je....hmmm...macam mana nak cakap eh? (I wish I could put everything here.) Let me put it as... I ni "BAHAN EXPERIMENT" yang pertama. Takda lagi waris2 Adam deorang yang dah bergabung dan metupppsss. Yang still ado pun,kene kutuk habis or yang lebih tu semua dah pecah kongsi. Maybe sebab benda2 ni la kot jadi macam tu semuanya. Haaa.....kan dah terkeluar sikit ni. So, apa2 yang jadi, surela nampak macam I'm taking control over the situation. Deorang tu tak sedar, kalau ditilik betul2, waris hawa deorang pun, lepas bergabung...meletuppsss sama naik jer. Tapi, takpe....cos in their favor. Semua okay and buat2 tak perasan la.


Kadang2 orang macam depa ni tak muhasabah diri. Tuhan jadikan kehidupan sekeluarga diduga penuh dengan masalah sebab benda2 macam ni la. Sebab selalu melaga-lagakan,mengumpat,membeza-bezakan orang, dan macam2 lagi la. Yang "material" dari luar semua tak kena. Maybe kene sesesuku-sesakat deorang barula elok. Tu pun belum tentu lagi. I really wish one of them end up with their own "tribe". I nak tengok, org tu boley tahan ke tak. I tak nak kata I doakan la....tapi....orang-orang yang teraniaya macam I ni, selalunya akan dimakbulkan permintaannya.


It is not going to end any soon, I guess. Unless, decision is made. Well....I'm not going to open up anymore. "What you don't know won't hurt you", which is very true. So, tak payah la I nak try hard. Life is too short. So, I am going to do it my way. Sempena blog post ni, I nak dedicatekan lagu ni specially untuk mereka2 yang terhormat. Moga kalian bisa tau...yang gue enggak pernah mau masuk campur dalam apa2 pun lagi. Pokoknya, gue udah hilang kepercayaan dan takkan pernah percaya sampai kapan pun. Waduuhhh...gayaknya seperti Bunga Citra Lestari nggak??:)

My Way
And now the end is near, And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear, I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full, I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this,I did it my way
Regrets...I've had a few, But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do, And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, Each careful step along the byway
And more...much more than this, I did it my way
Yes there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out,
I faced it all , And I stood tall and did it my way
I've loved, I've laughed and cried, I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that, And may I say not in a shy way,
Oh no, oh no, not me, I did it my way
For what is a man what has he got, If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels, And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows, And did it my way
Yes it was my way

p/s : Blog post di atas telah diolah sehalus-halusnya. Kepada para pembaca, please read between the lines and You'll be able to understand. Inshaallah.

Mari belajar mengira

Kenapa tiba2 nak belajar mengira ni? Bukan I blaja finance ke dulu? I dah tak reti kira ker? Ker.....semua nombor dah lintang pukang sampai tak boley nak kira. Memanjang negatif jer:(

Bukannyer apa. Many people lost their intelligence,pride,judgement and sense when it comes to money. Lagi banyak duit, lagi susah nak kira. And start berkira-kira apa nak buat dengan duit yang melambak tu. Like myself, an average wage earner, calculation is simple. Let me show you how :

p/s: All figures shown are for illustration purpose only. Tiada kaitan dengan yang masih hidup atau yang telah mati.

Income = 3000 minus Expenses:

1)Car = 750 ni kalau pakai keta buatan Malaysia la. Ni kira installment je tau. Tak masuk maintenance cost lagi. Paham2 jelah keta buatan Malaysia ni. Ehem2 la kan. Ada jer benda nak repair. Malaysia BOLEH! Boleh la sangat....

2)House = 800 ni on average je. Tak kira la umah sewa or beli. Negara MAJU la katakan. Semua mahal. Pirahhh mabuk

3)Phone+internet+ASTRO = 200 ni yang paling busuk la I kira. Tapi, sapa suruh korang pakai telefon, internet and subscribe ASTRO? Tula "DEORANG" cakap, "ubah cara hidup". Tak nak dengar. Lepas tu complaint gaji tak cukup. Bloody b*s#ard betul la sapa yang cakap ni kan. Cakap pakai otak la, bukan ikut sedap mulut je. Ni dah jadi keperluan la sekarang.

4)Study loan / PTPTN = 250 . Ni la nama dia pinjaman sampai syurga, cos THERE'S NO END to the loan repayment. Interest yang tak berhenti 2 berjalan. wakakakakakakakak.Macam haram.

5)Petrol & toll = 500. Esok RON 97 naik harga. SYABASH beta....(ni skrip hindustan marah)

6)Nursery,susu+pampers anak = 400. Ni pun I kira nursery yang letak budak kat living hall and baring tengok dinding je. Buku takda, toys takder.Takda belaja apa. Yang macam tu boley la dapat 250. Nothing less. Susu ngan pampers pun yang sempoi2 je. Don't you dream about milk with DHA or mommy pokoyo pampers. This calculation is for 1 child yer. Children doesn't come cheap these days.hukhukhuk. Kalau nak beranak lebih, haaa....."Lu PiKiRla sendiriiiiii"

So, take a calculator and see how much balance I still have at the end of the month? 100 eh? Owhh....ok la tu. Cukup2 jer buat belanja makan husband and wife for the whole month. Crazy rite? 100 can't even last you for 1 week. Makan roti canai singgit tiap2 hari boley la. Lepas tu end up high blood pressure. Too much of cholestrol. See, I told ya! Its not hard for me to calculate because my balance sheet is always zero at the end of every month. hahahahahahah.

Its different from people with billion ringgit. Sampai tak reti nak kira dah pasal banyak sangat. Membazir tak hengatt walaupunnn....bukan duit deorang or even mak bapak deorang. Malaysians.....WAKE UP! This is the reality. A developed country is not judged by its 100-storey skysCRAPer! There is a glut of offices in KL. Developers are facing hard time to rent / sell their office spaces. And it will cost the country a 5billion worth of damage. Woot...woot! This landmark tower will eclipse the 88-storey Petronas twin towers completed during Mahathir's administration. So, what is this all about? Nak compete siapa boley naikkan bangunan lagi tinggi ker? Weiii....."ini harta bukan Ahmad Albab yang punya". The money belongs to the people.

The country is advance in the eyes of the world if the health,education,people's welfare,public transportation are efficient. Bukan pasal berapa tingkat bangunan paling tinggi yang ada kat sini and tak jugak because of the mega entertainment hub yang ada. Another thing... Ada orang nak invest ke pun buat building tinggi2? If yang cakap tu one of the opposition leader, dah tentu2 la cakap deorang politicize kan issue. But when Richard Branson speaks, he speaks on behalf of the foreign investors! Ke....Richard Branson dah lompat parti....masuk Keadilan/DAP/PAS? wakakakakakakkaka.

Adoii...malas nak cerita banyak la. I am done with my mathematics tutorial for today.So, kalau korang tak reti2 gaks mengira, baca banyak2 skit. Tapi bukan la baca "Utusan Meloya" or tengok "Belitin Utama". Choose your reading material wisely. Sebab tu kena spend on internet kat atas tadi. Kita bukan kena "ubah cara hidup" tapi "ubah orang yang manage duit negara kita".hahahahhahha.This is our country's future and money we are talking about. Think and calculate wisely:)

Andai Ku Tahu....

Pagi ni...tengah makan breakfast dengan mommy poko and hubby, mom shared a sad story about my brother's good friend in primary school that has just passed away due to breathing complication. Innalillahiwainnailaihirajiun....There was a long pause and it was just a moment of silence.

The girl is so young. She's only 24:( She is marrying someone next year. She has so much to achieve still....Alhamdulillah!Im very grateful that I have lived 6 years ahead of her. Dalam perjalanan pergi keje, still teringat2 lagi pasal kawan my brother tu. Even I tak pernah jumpa or kenal dia, I feel very sad:( Tengah teringat tu pulak la....keluar lagu "Andai ku tahu" by my favourite Indo band, "Ungu". Lirik lagu tu sangat to the point, but yet so deep.

Andai kutahu kapan tiba ajalku
Ku akan memohon Tuhan tolong panjangkan umurku
Andai kutahu kapan tiba masaku
Ku akan memohon Tuhan jgn kau ambil nyawaku
Aku takut akan semua dosa2ku
Aku takut dosa yang terus membayangiku Andaiku tahu malaikat Mu kan menjemput ku
Izinkan aku mengucap kata taubat pada Mu
Aku takut akan semua dosa2 ku
Aku takut dosa yang terus membayangiku
Ampuni aku dari segala dosa2ku
Ampuni aku menangis ku bertaubat pada Mu Aku manusiaYang takut neraka
Namun aku juga tak pantas di surga
Andai ku tahu kapan tiba ajalku,
Izinkan aku mengucap kata taubAt pada Mu Aku takut akan semua dosa2 ku
Aku takut dosa yang terus membayangiku
Ampuni aku dari segala dosa2
KuAmpuni aku menangisku bertaubat pada Mu

The beauty of the song is the title. "Andai ku tahu", which means "If only I knew". Why is it so? Kenapa apa2 lyrics yang ditulis pasal ajal dan maut ni guna perkataan IF, ANDAI, JIKA, KALAU? Because....Today is all we have. Tomorrow is God's. This is the reason kenapa kita kena selalu bertaubat and beringat. "Live like You are Dying" tu bukan la maknanya enjoy puas-puas sebab tak tau bila nak mati. Tapi, beribadat dan beramal sebanyak yang mungkin as though kita nak mati esok.

Bayangkan....macam mana la keadaan kita bila masa kita diambil untuk kembali kepada Sang Pencipta, kita tengah dalam keadaan mabuk or tengah berzina.Or....tengah dalam pejabat or kat kedai kopi mengatur KONSPIRASI or FITNAH JAHAT untuk menjatuhkan orang lain. oR.....tengah dalam procedure memBOTOX. oR..tengah mengira duit yang dapat daripada komisen MEMPALSUKAN medical report. Nauzubillah!

Mengingati mati itu perlu. Tapi, tak la bermakna dok kejar akhirat je. Siang malam dok kat masjid je sampai tak keja, sampai anak bini tak bagi makan pun tak betuk jugak.Kita kene seimbangkan dunia and akhirat. Yang penting, kita selalu beringat supaya kita akan mati dalam keadaan yang berIMAN.

Tu yang I pelik sangat bila tengok sesetengah orang yang tak takut dengan ALLAH macam dia akan hidup 1000 tahun lagi. YA ALLAH, jangan la kau jadikan aku salah satu dari orang2 yang lalai itu. Itu la sebabnya aku salalu berdoa lepas setiap kali solat supaya ALLAH teguhkan IMAN aku, hidupkan aku dengan IMAN, matikan aku dengan IMAN, dan masukkan aku ke syurgaNYA dengan IMAN. Ameenn.....