The past 30 years

Hari ni tak tau apa yang nak cerita. Jiwa ni lately rasa sangat tak tenang. Astaghfirullahalazim. Nilah yang dikatakan bisikan syaitan. "Ya ALLAH, aku berlindung kepadamau dari syaitan yang direjam." I shouldn't have let my anger controls myself.

Tapi hari ni, seriously, sangat kelam dan mendung,except for my fabulous lunch@ Sushi King. Yummaayyyy. Kenyang giler. Alhamdulillah, rezeki Allah. But it sure cost a big hole to my pocket:(

Anyway,I have actually forgotten about my special day tomorrow, until one of my colleague came to me and wished "Happy belated birthday,Iza". Aiyooo....not yet la. Its tomorrow.hahahahha. But, thought that counts, rite:)

When I think of my 30th birthday tomorrow, I'm filled with weird feelings. It makes me think of the 30 years that has gone by. What have I done? Have I done enough to seek a place in Jannah (syurga) if I die tomorrow? Have I repent for all the sins that I have comitted for the past 30 years? NOOOOO.......I feel really sinful just by thinking about it.

Im grateful for these 30 years that was loan to me. If I can choose, of course I want many more years so that I can correct my past mistakes and devote myself to ALLAH. I pray to ALLAH to bless me with more years so that I can be a better :
1)servant to my creator
2)Muslim to my religion
3)daughter to my parents
4)wife to my husband
5)mommy to my children
6)sister to my siblings
7)friends to everyone

Ameen. Inshaallah. So, on this coming very special day, I should be thanking the CREATOR for giving me the wonderful 30 years.